Firstly, thank you for your patience here and apologies for the recent radio silence.
I’ve been thinking a lot about change. Often, we think of change as something that happens to us. We adapt to change, right? We adapt and react seemingly more than we, say, bring about change or take preemptive action.
But the truth is you are the master of your own destiny. And that may very well be the most difficult lesson to learn in this life. And it’s not like riding a bicycle. You’re probably going to have to relearn that lesson many times. I’m studying up on it myself these days.
I also think of it as manifestation: to incarnate something.
I feel like I was better at it when I was younger? I moved into my first apartment with a suitcase of clothes and books, a mattress, and a beat-up red pleather recliner. Not much to say the least! The place was nearly empty, but it was home. And I spent the next weeks, months, years really, collecting furniture and decor.
That’s kind of a superficial version of manifestation. And I think it’s tied to the weird magic of New York City. The thing is, in this town, if you want something long enough, you’ll find it on the street.
I found a full dining set, a fold-out sleeper couch, records, a stereo, bookcases, plants, dishes, anything and everything you’d need to furnish and supply your first apartment. And I can hear you, “Manifestation?” you say. “More like infestation!”
I was lucky, yes. And judicious. Of all the items I found and managed to get home, there were countless more half-broken, somewhat stained, grimy-looking objects that I left alone.
I lived in that apartment for three years, which was about two and a half years longer than any of my friends lived in Bedford-Stuyvesant circa 2001. And when I finally moved on — I certainly didn’t move out — I just left everything there. I packed up as much as I could fit in my large hiking backpack and said goodbye. That’s another story though.
In the two or three years that followed, I never really had my own apartment. I rented rooms, crashed on couches (thanks, y’all!), moved to Italy for a bit where my employer got me a furnished crash pad, and for a spell I was back at my parents’ house (again, thanks, y’all!).
But soon enough I caught a break and got myself together just enough to land a place with my buddy Ed. We rented a large studio space with high ceilings in a converted warehouse with the intent of building out bedrooms and a workspace and maybe even a bar and a stage for parties. Yes, we were ambitious. We were young! And we were well-practiced at the art of manifestation.
Now, here’s where you’d probably expect me to elaborate on “the art of manifestation” and list bigger and better examples of my manifestations and encourage you to also find your manifestation practice or even better — buy my online course and learn all about it!
Yeah, that ain’t happening.
If I’m perfectly honest, I don’t have the secret. At best, I just sometimes find keys that unlock doors. And over the years I’ve gotten better at seeing those keys. Yes, chance favors the prepared mind, but I’ll take that just a step further: you’re not gonna find free furniture on the sidewalk if you stay at home all day.
And in regards to that loft with Ed, well, we had a vision, man. It was clear and thought-out and we were set on incarnating it. It was gonna happen, just a matter of when and how, and, if I’m perfectly honest, how much.
That’s manifestation: It’s a creative approach, within constraints. It’s thinking outside the box. It’s searching, or better yet: wandering. It’s about knowing what you want, but also being open to what you find.
Manifestation is palms-up, with intention. It’s having a goal and being focused while remaining flexible and maybe getting creative. In some ways, at my most wizardry, it’s bending the universe. You’re certainly not coming home to a magically furnished apartment, that’s not what I mean. You’re just asking for what you want. Bending the universe is bringing intention to your wanderings.
Mostly though, manifestation is communing with this weird world and all the good, bad, or otherwise that you’ll find as soon as you decide to veer from the path laid out before you.
I don’t think any of us could have predicted the Coronavirus global pandemic. As we approach 1,000,000 deaths worldwide, it’s hard to feel like we have any power or authority over our world. Six months ago, we had plans. Now?
And while we each are adapting to this new world in different ways and at different speeds, it’s important to remember that you are powerful and creative. This is the Anthropocene! For better or worse, humans are the most influential thing on this weird, blue planet. Goddamn, act like it, ok?
The outrage and anger you’ve felt over these last months can be channeled into positive, productive actions. And I know it can feel futile and even hopeless at times. But stay the course, stay positive, stay focused.
It will never be easy.
I moved into that first apartment of mine on September 1st, 2001.
For weeks I cleaned the dust and soot and ash that accumulated on every surface inside the apartment. Windows open, windows closed, it didn’t matter. Every day I cleaned and every day the dust and ash returned. If you’re thinking this is pretty macabre, you’re right. It was.
But one day, one week at a time, I was able to slowly furnish that whole damn apartment. Slowly, searching for the things I wanted, I built a home.
Not sure if it’s clear here or not but I’ve been thinking a lot about how we can either design our own environments or settle into what’s presented to us. That’s change, right? We can build culture or we can consume culture. We can take action or we can continue to react.
Now, it would be easy to make an allegory of the whole “finding furniture on the street” manifestation of things. Like, finding things on the street is somehow a focused effort instead of a serendipitous event? Is the decision to search itself a form of action? Not all who wander are lost, right? Maybe you thought that’s where this was heading?
To be honest, I’m not really sure where I was going here. And it seems this dispatch has almost nothing to do with the Anthropocene. Sorry about that.
But I’m curious — what are you looking to manifest? What changes are you striving towards? What was the last thing you found on the street?